Seifer You Butthole!
by Requiem Wolf
Summary: Siefer has created a special chemical that renders all completly helpless to all sexual advances but the aftermath is frightening. Ans Squall and Makai are his frist victims....


Seiferyouasshole

I don't own FFVIII or any of the characters with Square's name on them.Velra and Makai are mine however, if you try to steal them my fangs will find you.I know that you're wondering who is Makai, well she's a sorceress who is the daughter of Adel and a sorceress of my creation called Velra.( technically two women can have a child ) All you need to know about Velra is she's dead.Now that all that crap's outta the way…

_Seifer __You Asshole!_

The Balamb Garden music was playing loud enough to deafen someone…only trouble was it was only playing in Squall's head.He fell down and started tearing violently at his scalp, " Get out, out goddamn you little people stop playing that music!"

All the people in the Garden had now formed a circle around their leader whose face was starting to bleed.Quistis was among them and ran over to Squall and knelt beside him, " What the hell have you done to yourself?You're a SeeD for Christ sakes!"

" The leader of SeeD and this whole Garden in fact. "Quistis looked up and saw Makai kneeling on Squall's other side.Both of them could smell the whiskey on his breath, and knew that Rinoa or Seifer had something to do with this.

" Squall, look at me…no no no, not at the birdie honey.Squall, who did this to you? "Makai's questioning did get his attention though not the kind she had intended.Squall's reflexes were still pretty sharp ( maybe it was meth? ) but he grabbed the back of Makai's head and pulled her down to him, slamming her face on his making an open mouth kiss between the two leaders of garden the talk in the dorm for weeks.Makai threw her head back, her face looked disgusted." Christ almighty!! Your mouth tastes like an ashtray! Don't ever, ever try that again. But if you must, brush your damn teeth.Quistis looked at Makai.Makai had nothing to say other than, " Don't you say a word."

Squall on the other hand had a lot to say, " But I love you Makai.Don't you want me? That's what you told Seifer.He said you loved someone in Garden." 

Makai skeptically glared at him, " You wearing a wire?"

" I love you, see!? " Squall stood up, tore off his shirt revealing a home-made tattoo of Makai's name across his chest, and stomach ( someone missed ).Okay so it wasn't a tattoo, more like a message written with a letter-opener.It was still bleeding, and Makai licked her lips at the sight of blood.

" Let's get you to the infirmary. "Quistis was eyeing Makai.

" But I'm fine see!" Squall jumped up and started doing a drunken Macarena.

" Hey you like this" He exposed himself to one of the lower classmen, wagging himself inher shocked face.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" The little girl ran over to her instructor and clung to his leg. 

" It was scary!!"

"And YUMMY TOO! WOOPWOOPWOOWOPWOP!!! "Squall ran away into the surrounding woods, without his pants.

" We gotta catch him before something happens!"a horrified Quistis yelled.

"I ain'tgoin after him.I don't want him to kiss me again, so good luck and if you can't find him follow the screams."Makai walked away down the Quad like nothing happened, except Squall's tongue left a weird taste in her mouth.

Makai sat in the cafeteria and was trying to yell at Seifer but the line of girls wouldn't leave her alone." You were kissed by Squall, can I have your autograph? "Zell's girlfriend yelled at the top of her groupie lungs,

" Wha…got any money?"Makai was going to turn this to her advantage no matter what.

The kid shoved five bucks into her hand and tossed a pen and notebook into her lap.

" My name's Julie! "

" Okay…Julie."Makai scribbled on the notebook then gave it back to the girl who's name she'd already forgotten.

_ _

_ _

Julie- 

_Keep reachin' for that damn rainbow!_

_-__Makai_

" She knows my name!!! AAAAHH!"what's-her-name ran away screaming and was replaced by 76 more girls and some guys ( Makai didn't charge the one who looked like Zell )One girl did ask her if she could kiss her too, that was a 30 dollar venture.That was the end of Makai's fan-relations for the day.

"Why don't they go find that kid that got Squall's dick wagged in her face?"

Seifer just looked over at her suggestively from across the table, " Are you gonna talk to me now or do I have to go kiss that girl to get some action?" 

"You know if you really want a piece of Squall, you could go lick Rinoa.She probably still tastes like him after all the time's Squall's banged her. "

"I wasn't talking about the girl Squall cock-slapped, I was talking about the one who kissed you. "

Makai choked on her coffee-sprite-surge cola, it tasted so weird, " What did you put in this?!! "

Seifer sipped his own and then leaned forward, " The same thing I gave to Rinoa to slip in Squall's drink last night, only you have a stronger dose. "

" Hack You….bastard!"Makai fell over, her head flat on the table as she lost consciousness.Seifer finished his drink and picked her up and carried her to his house-boat/base/lab.

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

" Where am I?"Makai began to come to.

" In a place you'll never forget, my dear."Seifer stepped out of the darkness.

"You asshole!" she threw herself at him, but found herself restrained.Her head throbbed with pain as well.

" Oh I forgot to tell you about the anchor chains that are being used to keep here till the potion kicks in. "

"What potion you vile bastard? " Makai choked on her own tongue.

"The potion that will make you into a 70's whore of course.You know ever since I was a little boy I've always wanted to be a 70's pimp but I could never find the right people to be in my stable."

"The least you could do is cut me in on the profit. "She tried to laugh but the bonds on her neck wouldn't allow it.

" No,you aren't to be out on the streets my beauty.You are for me and no one else. "he stepped closer and stroked her face, "Besides like all my other dreams that one won't come true, I've decided to become a charity worker for children's aid.This is just something I've wanted to do for a while.See what the potion is, is really just my side job.It's for guys who can't get the girl or guy they want to shut up and put out.So I decided to try it on the two toughest customers I could find, you and Squall. "

" Why us? "

" Hey, if it works on you it'll work on anyone.And in about three minutes you'll believe me. "Seifergrabbed a little sand-timer and flipped upside down, " That's how long you've got to be alive. "

" You're gonna kill me now? "

" No. I just…that's how long you've got to be alive. "

He slammed the door and left.And three minutes later he came back as promised, but this time Makai didn't object to his touches……..

=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Meanwhile……

Squall had made it all the way through the fire cavern and Acuald plains, without pants.But about the time Seifer was having his way with Makai the effects dissipated and he now was lost in the woods naked.He liked the free, outer layer-optional idea but he wasn't sure about dropping his boxers into the pits at the fire cavern was such a good idea.

Maybe if he could sneak in the back entrance to Garden no one would notice. 

" SHIT! I left my keys in my pants!"

He heard a bird chirping in the distance, and saw it running towards him.It was a little robin, but his stimulant-racked mind turned it into the Omega Weapon and he tried to play dead.He curled up into a fetal position and started weeping like a little baby.That's about when a vacationing family came upon the scene.

" Daddy the poor man doesn't have any clothes. "

"He sure doesn't son, he must a CULT member. "

" Should we sex him pa? "

" Good idea son, go get the rubbers. "

" Wh-e-ere, where am I?Seifer, are you here? " Makai babbled when she at last awoke.

Seifer appeared from the darkness totally naked, and sat beside her. "Don't you worry you're safe my little rose, " he leaned over and stroked her face," you will be okay."She turned her head away, " Don't t-touch me you bast-tard."

" Too late little one. "

" Little one?!How dare you, have you forgotten who I am?I am the daughter of the great sorceress' Adel and Velra! "Makai broke her bonds quickly, the chains hanging from her wrists.Seifer fell backwards in fear, Makai edged closer preparing to strike at him.She raised her hand, pulled her claws from her hands, " AAAAArrrrgggggg-aaaaaahhhh!" in the middle of her battle cry she clutched at her head and fell on the floor next to Seifer.Her screams of pain pierced his ears and he shut his eyes.There was a loud crash, when he opened his eyes Makai was gone.

" So that didn't work exactly as I planned. "Seifer said when he stood up and searched for his pants. 

" I had planned to fuck her before she woke up. Oh well."

Too be continued…


End file.
